Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Movie Review

**/5

I remember when the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out, I saw it in theaters twice. I've never seen a movie more often then that on a big screen, and have only done so with a handful of others. I loved that movie, as did everyone else. It was surprisingly fresh and original, with a fun storyline and good action. Unfortunately, as with many franchises, it did very well in the box office and was never able to evolve. Each sequel has been more formulaic than the last, and my disappointment grows. On Stranger Tides is no different.

Think about the first movie. What were some of the most enjoyable scenes? The fencing scene between Will and Jack in the rafters of the blacksmith's? Jack's daring escapes? Battles at sea? Attractive young women with barely concealed breasts? Well, if those were your favorite parts of The Black Pearl, save yourself some money and just watch that one again. On Stranger Tides does every single one of those things, only not as well. It is like the executive producers sat down to watch The Black Pearl and made a list of their favorite things, and then made sure all of them made it into this movie.

In addition to repeating a lot of old favorites until they are cliche and annoying, so many new elements were added in this movie that there was not enough time to explain them all. Barbossa is back, of course. He, Gibbs and Keith Richards are the only characters who have appeared in the previous movies, apart from Jack. Added into the mix are Angelica (Penelope Cruz), the only woman Jack has ever had "stirrings" for. "Stirrings", incidentally, are slightly less powerful than "feelings". Also Blackbeard (Ian McShane), the only real pirate in this series. Filling the Will and Elizabeth rolls are Philip and Syrena, a Christian and a mermaid, respectively.

Since two of the three main characters of the previous movies were missing, OST seemed to try to reboot the series completely, as well as having a complicated story line. The result is a long, garbled mess. Too many characters and ideas are introduced, and not enough time spent on any of them. There are mermaids and zombies and Blackbeard and so many other things you almost forget that the main object is the freaking Fountain of Youth! I just did, honestly, right now, and I saw the movie about ten hours ago.

I did like Blackbeard, but that's because I love reading about real pirates. I was pretty excited to hear that he was in this one, and I was pretty pleased. A number of his legendary traits were included - lighting his beard on fire to scare his enemies, his decapitated body swimming around his ship - but I'm not sure that the added supernatural powers were needed. Maybe the writers thought that a telekinetic Blackbeard would be less frightening than the real one. The one in the movie didn't shoot people in the kneecaps for fun, so I guess that was their reasoning.

It was an entertaining two hours, but I'm not really sure what it was about. Not really worth paying for, and certainly not worth watching in 3D, which I didn't. It can't have been that spectacular. I've rather lost faith in this franchise, and I think I will skip any other sequels. I'll stick with the original and be happy.

Birthday feast!

Tuesday was my 24th birthday, and rather than getting food from Dinosaur BBQ like my mother suggested (which I did for my graduation party last year, I am by no means knocking the deliciousness that is Dinosaur), I wanted to do a more personal dinner.

I asked a few friends over and together we made and ate dinner. My mom, ever the helpful one, lent her kitchen and her cooking skills. She made (above) shrimp sauteed in olive oil with loads of garlic.

I had the master of Syracuse alcohol, Fernando, take care of the drinks.




















Sangira a la Fernando

One bottle white wine
1/2 C raspberry rum
1 C orange juice
2/3 C sugar
1/2 C raspberries, smashed
1 mango, diced
1 lime, sliced
1 lemon, sliced
1 orange, sliced
peach, diced

Put sugar, rum and orange juice into pitcher, stir until sugar is dissolved. Add all of the fruit, let sit until you are ready to serve. The sugar allows the fruit to soak in a lot of the alcohol, so the longer it sits, the more potent the fruit will be.

Add wine immediately before serving.

Fernando made a red wine sangria for last Christmas dinner, and it was amazing. I like white wine better, so I asked him to try one for my birthday, and it turned out even better than the last. Very fruity, very sweet and very strong. Fantastic.

My mom also made an amazing salad/appetizer from her favorite Tapas restaurant in DC, Jaleo.

Apple and Manchego Salad

1 Granny Smith apple
Manchego cheese
Vinegar or Lemon juice

Slice the apple into long, thin spears. Slice about as much of the cheese into similar pieces. Toss together in a bowl, sprinkle with vinegar or lemon juice to give it a kick and so the apple doesn't brown.

I made the crepes, the recipe for which can be found elsewhere.

Also on the table are bowls of Spanish olives, baked brie, roasted peppers, cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto, a salad that no one touched, and a Spanish dessert bread.

For dessert we had a vegan chocolate cake that Sally won at a silent auction
and the traditional lemon cake, my favorite. We also had a second pitcher of sangria that Fernando was good enough to make - this is a family of wine drinkers, in case you hadn't guessed that already. We were all quite full and tipsy by the end of the evening, and ended the affair with a story from one of the guests, a former children's librarian.

All in all, a pretty good birthday.

Final photo credit: Hannah Nast

Snickerdoodles!

Snickerdoodles used to be my favorite cookies in the world, and I haven't made any for a long time. I lost an old recipe I had, which I remember being phenomenal, but this one is pretty good too. Good enough that Dave consumed half a tray in about two minutes, then made a new house rule: I am only allowed to bake once a month, lest he get fat. I guess moderation is a concept beyond him.

Snickerdoodles

1/2 C butter, softened
1/2 C shortening
1 1/2 C white sugar
2 eggs (1/2 C eggbeaters)
2 t vanilla extract
2 3/4 C all-purpose flour
2 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/4 t salt
3 T white sugar
3 t ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 375.

Cream together the butter, shortening, 1 1/2 C sugar, the eggs and vanilla. Mix in the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. You may find it easiest to mix in the last three first, then the flour one cup at a time. This mixing should be done by hand; the consistency of the cookies is drastically different otherwise.

Mix the remaining sugar and cinnamon for the topping. You will have to coat each cookie in this, so you will find in much easier to put the cinnamon sugar in a sandwich bag.

You will probably need two cookie sheets going at once, because this makes about 48 cookies. Cover each sheet in parchment paper, it will make you life considerably easier.

Shape the dough by rounded teaspoonfuls into balls. Roll them lightly between your palms for a few seconds to form them. The dough is very sticky, so make sure to wet your hands with cold water first, and do not roll for too hard or too long, or you will just make a mess. x_x

Drop the dough balls one by one in the sandwich bag, shake it a little to coat in the topping, then place on a cookie sheet. Wasn't that easier than rolling each one?

Bake sheets one at a time for 8 minutes. Only 8. When you take them out the tops of the cookies will have cracked, and in the cracks you may see wet dough. DO NOT cook them longer. They will just harden. You want these to be chewy cookies.

If you are able to put one tray of 12 cookies in every 8 minutes, this shouldn't take you much longer than an hour to do.

Even Maine is Beautiful in the Spring

I have been seeing one client since August, and almost every day we drive to a cemetery in Saco and take a walk. I have now seen this cemetery in all four seasons, and I have to say, spring is by far the most beautiful. There is one hillside that was just snow and mud from October to March, and in the last month had burst into bloom, now a carpet of tens of thousands of daffodils.

Sadly, it is apparently necessary to post "Do Not Pick Flowers" signs every ten feet.










I've had my eye on that angel statue since I first saw it, since it reminded me of that terrifying Dr. Who episode. Now, flanked by a bright pink tree, it is really rather pretty.

Koi - Restaurant Review

Koi Sushi Bar and Asian Cuisine
11 Elm Street
Biddeford, ME 04005

Our favorite Chinese restaurant in the area closed a few months ago, at first citing "interior decorating" as the reason. This was only slightly less hilarious as the Thai restaurant around the corner being closed due to "travel destinations in Thailand".

Last week it reopened, and is now a Chinese/Japanese fusion restaurant. This means sushi, and this means happy Allison.

We went for lunch on Saturday, and had triple awesomeness - happy hour specials, lunch specials, and Grand Opening specials. Appetizers were half off for happy hour, and the Grand Opening lunch special prices were $2 per roll. Dave and I got 9 rolls between us, and three appetizers, and our lunch totaled at about $25.

I got (clockwise from top left) a California roll - cucumber, avocado and crab - a cucumber and avocado roll, a Philadelphia roll - salmon, cream cheese and green onion - and a spicy tuna roll.





I usually go with my favorites when trying a sushi place for the first time, just so I have a good frame of reference, and it was great. The fish was fresh and flavorful, and nothing was dry. The avocado was soft and ripe - hard avocado is awful.



Tyler was really hungry, as you can see from his plate. He ended up getting full and taking a lot of leftovers home, so I couldn't get a picture of him with his empty plate.



The staff are really nice and friendly, and the manager came to talk to us a few times, since we were there at the awkward 2:30 time slot between lunch and dinner, and therefor the only people there.

I would definitely recommend Koi if you want good sushi outside of Portland - nothing else compares. I would also in particular recommend going for lunch, since they have some great specials - Maki Combos with miso soup and salad: 2 rolls for $7, 3 rolls for $9.50. I'm betting the crazy cheap grand opening prices won't be around for long, but it is still less expensive than many other places I've seen. Definitely a place I will visit again.

I have only two words for you: Lady. Gaga.

After the miserable turtle soup experience, we hopped in the car and drove out to Uniondale. The show was at the Nassau Coliseum (the same place we saw A. R. Rahman last summer) and is a really nice venue.

Having learned from our mistake of getting to the Elton John show on time, we arrived for an 8pm show at 6:30. This meant a bit of waiting, but it also meant free shirts! Good thing, too, since the cheapest concert shirts were $40. I got an awesome poster instead.

The first opening act started at about 8:20. It was some DJ chick dancing around in a feather headdress to metal. It was so bad, I'm not even going to waste time on how terrible it was.

At about 8:45, the real opening act started. I'd never heard of Semi Precious Weapons before, but holy crap, new love. This guy is fierce.



SPW played for about 45 minutes and they were awesome. Old friends of Lady Gaga's, the lead singer told a few stories about her. Then he took his pants off. I'm pretty sure every person in the audience wanted a piece of that. I'm normally not really into opening acts, but I'd definitely go see a show of theirs again if I get the chance.

We had about an hour wait in between SPW and Gaga while the stage was set, but this meant that people (us) who had had far too much tea that morning were able to relieve themselves. Repeatedly.

I don't really know how to begin speaking about Lady Gaga's performance. To say it was amazing would be a gross understatement. I do know that I have never before been to a concert when I did not at some point think "I wonder when it will be over?" The entire audience was enthralled. She was on stage for about two hours, and sang all but a few songs from The Fame and Fame Monster, and a few from her soon to be released album. But, again, that is not doing her justice, because the concert was only partially about the music.

I should really be calling it an event. Everyone knows that she wears crazy outfits; I'm not sure everyone appreciates that she changes outfits between every few songs. Some have tear-away parts, some include fake blood, and some have breast sparklers. Her sets were on the level of Wicked!, including a lime-green automobile, a subway car, and a massive angler-fish/octopus monster. Even the costumes and the sets were not the most spectacular part - although I will say I'm a little in love with one of her back up dancers, they were all beautiful.

It was her sincerity and feeling that made the show what it was. It was the gay community that truly helped launch her career, and she has repaid them passionately. Her current project is helping homeless youth in NYC, many of whom were kicked out of their homes due to their sexual orientation. I know a few people who have experienced this, so it made her interest in that topic personal.

She communicated with the audience, and truly seemed to appreciate us. At one point various gifts were flung onstage, and she took time to look at as many as possible. One was a fleshlight, or something like it (I won't link to that one - if you know what it is, good, if not, find it on your own) with a note stuffed in it. She was highly amused at that gift, squealing "Ohh, let's see what your vagina has to say!" She seemed to accept the request to go backstage after the show. Someone else gave her a t shirt depicting three soldiers walking out of a closet, carrying a rainbow flag. If anyone can find a website for this shirt, let me know, I couldn't.

Most powerful to me was her discussion on bullying. She started by talking about the people who disregard the message behind her music and say it is all a publicity stunt. Those people don't get it, she said, because they may have never experienced the pain and humiliation that comes with bullying. She told one story about herself; she was friends in high school with a group of guys who were also friends with some girls who hated her. In an attempt to amuse those other girls, they threw this tiny, eccentric girl into a trash can. She said she tried to laugh it off, to seem in on the joke, when in reality it was taking all of her self control to not cry.

Having been on the end of severe bullying in middle school, I was deeply moved. It was awful to think that other people had been treated as badly as I was, and I'm sure far worse in some cases, but also cathartic to know that I was not alone, and that I have grown so much as a person in the decade since then. She transitioned from bullying to the song Teeth, one of my favorites, and it will forever-more have a deeper meaning and powerful memories.



She finished the concert with Bad Romance, my favorite song of hers to sing along with, and by the end my voice was pretty much shot, which wasn't helped by the fact that she bounded back on stage to perform Born This Way.



What better message can you put in a song than to love yourself and everyone else just as we are? "Same DNA".

Just as I have never been so engrossed in a concert that I didn't think about how long it was going, I have never wanted to see an artist again as I was still walking out of the audience. Dave was practically giddy, asking to "ride that one again", and Jin said "she fucking blew my mind". That is about the summation of the concert. It was an two hour explosion of sight, sound and emotion, and I can't wait to see her again. Paws up for Mother Monster.

Advice for people attending future Gaga concerts: Take your camera. Not only are you not checked for them, she encourages their use. And there really are some things you will want pictures of, whether it is her stripping to her underwear or the guy in front of you dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

Credit: The pre-show photo of Hannah and I is from the Facebook group Gaga for NYIT

As I hadn't taken a camera with me, and wouldn't have been able to take photos anyway (we were way up in the stands to stage right), here are some links to good concert photos. She puts in a hell of a show.

Trang's Blog - 3/29/2010

LittleMonstersGallery - 2/19/2011

Awaiting the Lady

On Saturday we went to the event I have been looking forward to since she came to Portland in September: a Lady Gaga concert. But first, a little background.

Dave and I left home at 5am on Friday morning so that we would have time to run errands in Allentown (Don't. Ask.) before picking Hannah up from Penn station in the afternoon. This made for a very long drive and a very cranky Allison. One of my biggest faults is irritability, brought on most readily by hunger, sleep deprivation and stress, in that order. Since we'd gotten about 3 hours of sleep, didn't eat an actual meal until about 3 in the afternoon, and were late picking up Hannah, I was pretty awful. I really am lucky that Dave didn't simply eject me from the car.

We finally got Hannah and met up with Jin in K Town (Korea town, for those of you without a predominantly Asian group of friends) for Korean barbecue and karaoke. Shilla (the barbecue house) wasn't bad, but it seemed more like a tourist trap than a legit Korean restaurant - not a lot of food for a very high price, and we had to ask for things that should have been complementary. We have been to another place in Flushing, Nam O Jung, that has better food and prices, but it is advised not to go there without a Korean escort - you will get decidedly better service with one.

We then went to Karaoke Wow and stayed for 3 hours. It was a lot of fun, but also very expensive. Pros: Very clean, nice staff, good sound system. Cons: No songs from the past few years (so only one Gaga song :( ), and astronomical prices. We were a group of nine, and each paid $40, and that isn't including the drinks some people got. $10 per person per hour is fine, but the $80 gratuity they added on for no apparent reason is not. We have been to a few other places in the city that were a lot cheaper, with a much wider song choice. So, lots of fun, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Three hours of karaoke meant we didn't go to sleep until extremely late. This actually lead to a moment of considerable amusement, as the alarm I had set for 4:30am for the previous morning went off as we were getting into bed. Naturally, we slept until the afternoon and had Chinese food all day. We went to Jade Asian Restaurant in Flushing for dim sum (no wait, good food, good price) and got amazing egg custard (warm from the oven, tasted deliciously eggy) from a bakery I sadly cannot remember the name of. I know it was on Roosevelt Ave. but so are about 14 other Chinese bakeries, so that doesn't help too much.

We also went to to 66 Lu's Seafood when we met up with a few other friends who hadn't eaten yet. None of us were particularly hungry, but Dave and I saw turtle soup on the menu and were intrigued. I wish we hadn't been. The most I can say is that I have now tried turtle soup, and that it was an experience. It was vile. I can still smell it. It haunts my dreams. Bleh.