Karelian Pasties with Egg Butter

With Aiti

My grandmother (step-grandmother, technically) is from Finland. She is that quintessential grandma who bakes and sings you lullabies, while also being an Olympic-level cross-country skier. I grew up eating pulla every Easter and piirakkas (karelian pasties) when we went to visit. When the two of us took a trip to Finland in 2006, we ate piirakkas every morning for breakfast. This is the first time I have made them myself, and I have no idea why. They are delicious. Aiti, this one is for you.

Aiti in Helsinki, Finland

Rice Pudding
2 C water
1 C uncooked white rice
2 C milk
salt to taste


Combine rice and water in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes, or until water is absorbed. Stir in milk, cover, and cook until milk is absorbed by the rice, about 20 minutes. Season with salt to taste.


Rye Crust
1 C water
2 C rye flour
2 t salt
1 C all-purpose flour (as needed)
3 T butter, melted

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (220 degrees C). In a medium bowl, stir together the salt and rye flour. Stir in water. Mix in all-purpose flour 1/4 cup at a time until dough is just past the sticky stage. Divide the dough into 16 equal portions.


On a lightly floured surface, roll each piece of dough out into a thin circle 6 inches in diameter. The dough should be as thin as possible (seriously, you'll think it's too thin, but you'll be wrong). Place about 3 tablespoons of the rice mixture in the center of each circle. Spread the mixture out to within 1 inch of the edges. Fold the edges of the dough upward, and crimp the edges so as to allow the pastries to hold their shape. Pinch the sides at each end to form a little boat. Place pastries about 3 inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet, and brush the tops with butter.


Bake for 10 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, until the dough is firm, and the rice porridge is slightly browned on the top. Serve warm, topped with egg butter.


Egg Butter
6 hardboiled eggs
4 T butter
salt to taste


Chop eggs and mix with melted butter. Essentially just buttery egg salad.

For Saint Patrick's Day - Irish Soda Bread!

3 C flour

3 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp salt

1 Tbsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 Tbsp butter, softened

1 C raisins (optional)

1 Egg

2 C buttermilk

Preheat oven to 325°F, grease bread pan.

Combine flour, sugar, salt, baking powder and soda in a bowl, mix well. Work in butter. Add raisins if desired.

In measuring cup, beat egg. Add enough buttermilk to equal 2 C (this will be about 1 3/4 C buttermilk, depending on the size of the egg), mix well.

Add milk mixture to dry ingredients, mix well. Kneading the dough is not necessary.

Bake in greased bread pan for 1 hour. Let stand for 5 minutes, then remove from pan and cool on wire rack.

Best served warm with LOTS of butter :)

Mac and Cheese

It's been way too long since I posted a recipe to this blog, so here is a favorite of ours. I make it way too often to be healthy, but it's just so yummy, I can't help it.

With fake crab meat

4 C whole milk
1 stick butter
1/2 C flour
Salt, pepper, mustard to taste (optional)
1 lb macaroni (or whatever pasta is in your
     cupboard)
4 C shredded cheese (I like a mixture of
     cheddar and whatever else is on hand)
Breadcrumbs (optional)
Crabmeat (fake or not, or bacon, chicken,
     green onions, or anything else you want to 
     add)

The great thing about this recipe is that, difficult as the roux is to make, once that is done and you have the cheese sauce made, you can add pretty much anything and have it be crazy delicious.

Bring a large saucepan of water to a boil over high heat, add salt if you want (I never do and it turns out fine). Add the pasta and cook until it’s almost al dente, then drain and rinse with cold water; set aside.

If you plan to top with breadcrumbs and bake it (optional but highly recommended), heat the oven to 400°F.

Heat the milk in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until it just comes to a simmer, then turn off the heat and set aside.

Here is the hard part. In the large saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the flour and whisk constantly until the mixture turns light brown in color, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat.

While whisking constantly, slowly add the hot milk to the flour mixture until evenly combined and smooth. It will get very thick when you first add the milk, then thin out. Don't be like me and get upset if it turns out a little lumpy the first time - it takes practice and it will still taste good.

Return the saucepan to medium-high heat and while whisking constantly, cook until the sauce thickens and coats the back of a spoon, about 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in salt, pepper, mustard or any other spices to taste.

With green onions and topped with more cheese

Stir in cheese just until melted and smooth (you can reserve some of the cheese to top the pasta if you plan on baking it). Add the pasta, any meat or vegetables you want and continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until the pasta is heated through and steaming, about 2 to 4 minutes. Serve immediately or, if baking, transfer to a 5-quart baking dish, sprinkle with the breadcrumbs, and bake until bubbling and brown on top, about 25 to 30 minutes.

All my love to you, Poppet. You're going to be all right.

I'm not sure if this is a blog post, or a tribute, or a love letter or what, but it's painful, whatever it is. We are now all aware that one of the brightest sparks in show business, a man who made me laugh until I was sick, who was a genie, a nanny, Peter Pan, a boy stuck in a board game, a doctor, a killer... is gone. We also know it was by his own hand. Reading that first headline literally took my breath away, I couldn't fully process it for a minute, but on reflection, after thinking about all the trouble he had been through for years, it didn't surprise me.

Why funny people kill themselves.

What suicide isn't. 

"Every time they make a joke around you, they're doing it because they instinctively and reflexively think that's what they need to do to make you like them. They're afraid that the moment the laughter stops, all that's left is that gross, awkward kid everyone hated on the playground."

This might be the most accurate description of myself, and many other people I know, that I have ever read. I often say that making people laugh is my favorite thing in the world, and it is. Maybe that is because I was that awkward kid no one liked, or maybe because I have clinical depression (for which I am thankfully medicated and have a wonderful support system), or because I feel like as long as I can make someone laugh, they can't possibly hate me completely. I do know that I've lost one friend already, and I know others who have started down that road and turned back.

Take this opportunity to think about whether you know someone who might fit this description. If you do, go hug them. Tell them that they matter. If you've ever personally known someone lost to suicide, you know you never want to experience that again. So go make a difference in someone's life. You might end up saving it. They ain't never had a friend like you.

Day 3 - Health Assessments and Dancing

Today we were to spend the early morning assessing our families, but when we got to the academic center to pick up the brigadistas (grade school volunteers) we discovered that the children we were expecting to do screenings on at 11 were already there and waiting for us. We quickly threw together stations for height and weight, blood pressure, eyes, ears, lice and lung assessments. There were apparently only 28 children between six and eleven years of age, but it seemed like a small (in stature, not personnel) army. Laura and I manned the blood pressure station with only one pediatric cuff and then I roamed and shot some footage of the frantic but surprisingly organized proceedings.

Once we wrangled all the children through every station we packed up and headed for the barrio. For the first (and possibly, last) time we met the only child in our family, Rosa, as well as a woman named Carla, of indeterminate relation. We spent close to two hours doing as full of an assessment as is possible when your communication is half mimed. I was proud of myself for figuring out the words for 'tapeworm' (tenia) and 'kidney stone' (piedra de riñón) when they were mentioned. My Spanish, while still by no means fluent, is coming back quickly, and I wish I had time to be immersed in it longer so I could work on improving it further. As the assessments we did contain medical information, none of it will be posted here.

I am still very uncomfortable with the living situation with regard to Rosa. The information we receive keeps changing and her answers today seemed very rehearsed, "everyone respects me and no one touches me". She also contradicted the information about what she does after school and while she stated that Carla was her mother, Carla denied this claim. That, coupled with the other suspicious behavior (Cesar having a padlock on his bedroom door) makes me question the safety of this environment. We will continue to work with the family and so will the UPOLI students after we leave, so hopefully she will get the help she needs, even if that is only with improving her reading skills (at which she is about 5-6 years behind).

After leaving the barrio we went back to the B+B for a quick change and went out sightseeing. We went up to a lookout point that had an amazing view of Lake Managua and Volcano Momotombo and watched some people zip-line, thought we sadly did not get to participate. A few people wanted to go to church so we went to the Metropolitan Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, lovingly referred to by the locals as La Chichona (this in reference to the large number of breast-like cupolas on the roof).

Mass was of course all in Spanish and therefor even less understandable than normal for me, and being in a Christian church is no less uncomfortable in a foreign country, but the sides of the church were open, there was a lovely cool breeze and the man signing hymns and playing guitar was wonderful, so all in all it was rather enjoyable.

We sped back to the hotel for (another) change of clothes and went out yet again for dinner and dancing. Admittedly, I was kind of dreading it, but rather than have dinner and go to a club we went to a restaurant with a dance floor and ended up having an absolute blast. The sangria was good enough to rival Fernando's, the food was excellent (I got to try tongue for the first, and last, time) and that ballroom dance class senior year wasn't a total waste of time after all. Everyone just wanted to have a lot of fun (Amanda is both a good dancer and a little crazy), there were no skeezy guys present, and we got to show Managua a choreographed Macarena, so I'd call it a success. A fantastic end to a very good day.

Day 2 - Tenemos Prisa, Vamos a Esperar

The day began much the same as yesterday - already 80˚ by 7am, a filling and tasty breakfast and on the road by 7:30. OUr first stop was UPOLI, where we waited.

A note here on 'Nica time'. Like the more well known 'Indian standard time' or the French 'normalement', times are relative. An appintment set for noon might be kept by 12:45. This has lead to the existence of our trip catchphrase "tenemos prisa, vamos a esperar" (hurry up, we are going to wait). At the same time, people will wait all day in the scorching heat for a chance to see the doctor, and not once complain.

After we obtained the UPOLI students we split into two groups - one went to the academic center to do geriatric assessments and mine went to the Centro de Salud. For a few hours we did rotations through the emergency department, the vaccine center and the OB/GYN office. This was the first time Amanda, Alvaro and I had worked together without a more proficient translator than myself and it took a little work. Eventually we got into a system where I could translate between the two of them and Alvaro could fill in the words I didn't know or used incorrectly. I'm not sure if it would have been any easier if he knew any English, but he said he wished he did, which is a start. He helped me work on my vocab list and seemed interested in learning.

In the ER I took vitals (no fancy equipment here - BP cuff, watch and glass thermometer only, in addition to my bright orange stethoscope) while Alvaro took a brief health history. Amanda's first patient had venous insufficiency so she followed him to the procedure room while I stayed in intake. Admittedly, not having to actively translate made communication a lot easier and we were able to work together fairly efficiently. A number of people were there for injections (for pain, contraception or antibiotics) and I was able to do one. The preferred method here is intragluteal, which I've never done before, but I had a good teacher. The woman's leg didn't immediately go numb, so I took that as a good sign.

We got to watch PAP smears being performed in the OB/GYN clinic, another new experience for me. I unfortunately missed the skills lab we had before the trip, so I had never even practiced on a model before. The nurse in the office did the first exam and let Amanda do the second. We should go back in a few days and I want to try doing one then.

After meeting back up with the rest of the group and a quick lunch at UPOLI (fish this time) we went to the Children's Hospital for another tour. This served as yet another reminder of why I should not do pediatrics. The first ICU we went in had a number of acutely ill patients, including one with Tetrology of Fallot (a congenital heart defect that consists of four malformations that occur together) who was struggling to breathe even with a non-rebreather mask. I've never seen a human being that grey before. There was a boy in the back of the room with lupus who was so excited when we waved at him that it made me wonder how much contact he gets with other people.

The second ICU, more of a step-down ICU, had kids with more long term issues. There was a boy in an induced coma so he could heal from a car accident. He had a nurse who seemed dedicated to him and was clearly repositioned frequently; something, I might add, I have rarely seen in the states. There were a few kids with pneumonia, two with Guillain-Barré (rather exciting for me as we just learned about it in class and I was able to teach the English-speaking doctor the word 'demyelination') and one little girl with a pleural effusion. She was the one who really got to me - about two years old and she had wrist restraints to keep her from pulling on her nasal cannula; and she was just sitting up in bed and wailing for her mother. Since I wouldn't be able to work very well if I was crying all the time, I'm thinking peds is not for me.

As far as function was concerned the hospital was impressive - a huge cancer wing that did both in and outpatient chemo, a dialysis center and many others. I find it interesting that in the second poorest country in the Western hemisphere, free healthcare is considered a right, not a privilege.

Dinner was also fish, and as always, it was fantastic. Mary Beth, a Duquesne graduate accompanying us while on leave from Doctors Without Borders, made the point that part of the reason all the food has tasted so good is because it is all much more fresh than what we get in the states. The chicken we ate yesterday was probably killed that day, and never had any preservatives pumped into it. One thing after another is making me wonder why, with all the money we have, we do not live as well (in some ways) as people here.

Day 1 - Orientation

Didn't sleep particularly well last night, but what else is new? At least there were no more spiders. The day started bright and early with breakfast at 7 (rice and beans, eggs and ham, fresh fruit and yogurt) and we were on the bus by 7:45. Our driver, Roberto, has been with our group in the past and must be a masochist of the highest degree to put up with a group of American students more than once.

Our first stop was UPOLI (Universidad Politecnica) where we met the professors and students we will be working with for the next week. I will be paired with Amanda, a junior and Duquesne and Alvaro is our UPOLI student. Communication should be an adventure - my Spanish is conversational but by no means fluent, Amanda speaks even less and I don't think Alvaro knows any English at all.

One of the professors, Georgiana, gave us a brief lecture on the demographics of and chief medical problems in Nicaragua (see earlier Presentation Notes). I tried taking notes in Spanish and I'm hoping the language gets more comfortable as the week progresses.

After the lecture we all piled back into the bus and drove to the barrio where we took a tour of the Centro de Salud (health center), essentially a local clinic. They can take care of outpatient procedures (immunizations) and small emergencies like rehydration, but anything major gets sent to the hospital. We met one woman at the CS whose job it was to make sterile supplies. She made her own cotton balls, folded gauze pads and sterilized everything in the autoclave. Everything is in short supply here and so it is all precious. Maybe if we treated our system in a similar fashion we would see a difference in healthcare cost.

We each got to meet our families after that - all in the same neighborhood within walking distance of one another. The Román family is as follows:

Nelson - age 70, Grandfather (diabetes)
Nelson Jr. - age 38, Son (diabetes)
Cesar - age 34, Son, (healthy)
Rosa Esmeralda - age 13, Granddaughter (asthma)

We are unsure at the moment how Rosa is related to the others - she may be the daughter of another sibling. Tomorrow we will spend a few hours with them assessing what their major health issues might be - other than the aforementioned diabetes and asthma. After the tour of Villa Libertad (the barrio) we sped back to UPOLI for lunch (rice and beans with chicken) and took a tour of an actual hospital.

Everything in the hospital was in some way related to women's health. The labor and delivery area was run like a well-oiled machine - women here until they are 5cm dilated, then to the labor room until they are crowning, deliver in a separate room and as soon as the placenta is delivered they go out in the hall on a stretcher with their baby for observation. Two hours later they are sent to the postpartum area. From what I saw there were five beds for laboring (all in the same room) and two delivery rooms, and they deliver an average of 30 babies per day. If only we had that sort of efficiency in the US.

Dinner was chicken with rice (and anything fried in that much butter is bound to taste incredible) and we had a conference on our thoughts on the day and our ultimate goals with this program. While I am excited about helping people here, I'm here more to learn - both about nursing in general and how to make better use of time and supplies. There are an infinite amount of things that need to be changed about the US healthcare system, but we can start with cost. I'd never really considered administration and policy before, but there are so many things I want to change that I just might.

One things that especially struck me today was the attitude of the patients. They all shared rooms, in close quarters, no AC so it was about 85˚f inside and apparently it's sometimes so crowded they have to share beds. And yet everyone was grateful and happy to be there. Imagine such a thing in an American hospital.

Nicaragua Presentation Notes

• Escuela de enfermería - fundada en 1943
• Hay solamente cinco enfermeras generales y seis médicos para cada 10,000 personas
• 3.3% de población tiene 65 años y mas
• La principal causa de muertes en jovenes son accidentes
• 10.8 muertes por accidentes de tránsito por cada 100,000 habitantes
• Había 50.6 muertes materna por cada 100,000 nacidos vivos en 2012 (86.47 en 2005). 17% por eclampsia/preeclampsia, 34% por hemorragia
• 7,756 casos de virus de immunodeficiencia humana en Nicaragua
• 6,000 casos de Dengue en 2013 - sólo medicameno para los síntomas

----------------------------

• Nursing School - founded in 1943 
• There are only five general nurses and six doctors for every 10,000 people 
• 3.3% of population aged 65 and over 
• The main cause of deaths in young people are accidents 
• 10.8 traffic fatalities per 100,000 inhabitants 
• There were 50.6 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births in 2012 (86.47 in 2005). 17% from eclampsia / preeclampsia, 34% from hemorrhage 
• 7,756 cases of human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) in Nicaragua 
• 6,000 cases of Dengue in 2013 - only medicine for symptoms

Today is freshman orientation at UPOLI (Universidad Politecnica) and as we sit in lecture, pounding music rattles the windows. It reminds me of Mayfest.

In Managua

Landed in Managua and I am already reminded strongly of India. The air smells of hot pavement, diesel fumes and a sweet smell that may be flowers or rotten fruit. We each have our own beds and -naturally- there was a massive spider on the ceiling above mine. Early start tomorrow so now to bed.

Flying to Managua

Up at 5 this morning to take the Patho final at 7 and was at the airport by 9. It is now 6:30pm and we are on our way to Managua! I'm really excited to see an entirely new culture (to me), eat a lot of amazing food (that I hope doesn't make me sick) and get some new experiences with regard to nursing.

I'm still hoping I get to see a delivery but anything we do will be new and different, and therefor awesome. I'm also very much looking forward to not having any studying to do for a week! This break is very much needed.

Packing List

Underwear x11
Socks x9
Bras (sports x2) (regular x1)
Bathing suit
Scrub pants x3
Scrub top/tee shirts for clinic x5
Other tee shirts x5
Running shorts x1
Sweatpants x1
Flip flops x1
Capris x1
Skirt x1
Dress x2
Sweatshirt x1
Sneakers x1
Heels x1
Sphygmomanometer
Stethoscope
Shears
Name tag
Water bottle
Sunglasses
iPad + charger
Camera + charger
iPhone + charger
Toiletries
Meds

Pre-departure Dinner

Tonight we had our last meeting/dinner before our departure on the 26th. Mrs. Cunningham hosted and made fantastic Nicaraguan food. I'll be a very happy foodie if that is what I'll be eating for a week and a half. New camera should arrive Monday so I can test it before leaving. It films in HD so I should be able to get good footage in addition to photos.

It'll be hard to be away from Dave for 10 days but it is nothing new for us.

Will be spending the last four days here studying for the Patho/Illness I final - yikes. I just have to keep reminding myself that all I need to do is pass.

Perfect Banana Bread

I've used this recipe at least 5 times already this semester and it's fantastic. 

4 ripe bananas, smashed
1/3 C melted butter 
     (vegetable oil)
3/4 C granulated sugar
1 egg, beaten 
     (1/4 C Egg beaters)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 C all purpose flour
1/2 C chocolate chips 
      (highly recommended but          optional)



Preheat oven to 350 F (175 C).

Mix butter in with bananas. Add sugar, egg and vanilla - mix.

Sprinkle baking soda and salt over mixture, mix thoroughly. 

Add flour, mix. Add chocolate chips last, if desired.

Pour batter into greased 4x8 inch loaf pan. 

Bake 1 hour. Cool on rack.

Due to the unusually high number of bananas in this recipe, the center of the loaf may remain a little gooey. It is advised to not cook the bread longer, as this may cause it to burn. Instead, enjoy the gooeyness. 




Merry Christmas, one and all!

Christmas Cookies

• This recipe is modified from one available on the Hersey Kiss website, their Triple Chocolate Cookies - I didn't feel like going into a chocolate coma, so I changed it to a sugar cookie recipe. I also really hate cleaning up after cooking/baking, so I like to use as few dishes as possible. That's why I use oil instead of butter (easier to mix) and don't bother sifting dry ingredients together in a separate bowl. These turned out just fine.
• 
  
• 1/2 C vegetable oil
  3/4 C granulated sugar
  3/4 C packed light brown sugar
  2 tsp vanilla extract
  2 eggs (1/2 C Eggbeaters)
  1 Tbsp milk
  2 1/2 C all-purpose flour
  1 tsp baking soda
  1/2 tsp salt
  Around 45 Hersey Kisses
  
  
  Remove wrappers from chocolate pieces. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  
  
  Mix oil, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla in large bowl until well blended. Add eggs and milk; mix well.
  
  
  Stir together flour, baking soda and salt; gradually add to sugar mixture, mix until well blended.
  
  
  Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place on ungreased cookie sheet.
  
  
  Bake 10 to 11 minutes or until set. Gently press Kiss (no, not with your face, that would hurt) in center of each cookie; remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely. 
• 
  
• Makes about 45 cookies.

Happy Birthday to me!

And all of my birthday twins, who include:

Bill Paxton - An actor who has the remarkable talent of being one of my least favorite characters ever (Private "Game over, man" Hudson in Aliens) and the director and star of one of my favorite movies (Frailty).

Also, he can make that face. How sexy is that?

Craig Ferguson - A stand up comedian who has made one of the greatest comebacks in show business (second only to Robert Downey Jr.) and the only late night talk show host I have seen do a filming of his show. So far

Also has the distinction of being my sister's future husband, though he doesn't know it yet.


Soccer the Dog (Wishbone) - This dog taught me pretty much all I know about classical literature and how to enjoy it.

Alan Doyle - The lead singer of Great Big Sea (my favorite band) who just released his first solo album on Tuesday. Give Boy on Bridge a listen, it's fantastic.

Dark Shadows - Movie Review

*/5

Dark Shadows is simply another reminder of why I never watch Tim Burton movies. I think this may be the last one I ever see. Rarely do I hate a movie as much as I hated Dark Shadows. If I had not gone to the theater with my mother in law (who loved the movie, so to each his own), I might have left. If I'm being totally honest, had I not been with her, I never would have gone in the first place.

Dark Shadows tells the story of Barnabas Collins, a man so desirable that a scorned witch kills his true love, curses him to vampirehood and buries him in a box for 200 years. He resurfaces in the 1970s, meets his descendants, and does some stuff. For two hours. I think the best summation of this film was already done by io9 in their review of the movie - that this movie could make all other vampire movies obsolete, as Dark Shadows actually makes you feel the soul crushing eternity of immortality. When a movie, like the recent Avengers, is three hours long but feels 15 minutes, the filmmaker has done a good job. When the movie is two hours in length and seems to go on for years, it is a catastrophe.

I don't think I have a single genuinely nice thing to say about this movie; I can't even complement the actors. While I do like Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, their continued affiliation with Burton is infuriating and makes me want to strike them both upside the head with a boxed set of Danny Elfman music. Carter and Eva Green's terrible American accents were upstaged only by Depp's British one. The rest of the cast was an utter waste, turning vaguely talented actors into boring shells of their former selves. If you've seen any other Burton movie, you have heard an Elfman score, so the music isn't even worth mentioning.

So, delightfully, on to the writing. The screenplay was helmed by Seth Grahame-Smith, the author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I haven't yet finished the book, so I can't say if this is true of all his writing, but my god, did this story drag. And meander. And although nothing seemed to happen, not a damn thing that did made any sense. Characters do things for utterly inexplicable reasons, backstories are given and then dropped, people simply wander out of the movie and are never seen again and so much new information is added in the last half hour it will make your head spin. There is a witch, and she has the ability to curse someone into being a vampire (ignoring all rules of vampirism in the process). There are also ghosts, hippies, a werewolf and for no apparent reason, Alice Cooper. I will admit, the only part of the movie I enjoyed was when Cooper was singing. No traditional rules of magic and supernaturality were followed - a major pet peeve of mine - and things seemed to have been made up entirely on the fly. 

The only redeeming quality of this movie - provided you like shots of waves crashing on rocks - is that there are at least 15 shots of waves crashing on rocks. Rather than using a fade like a normal editor, or even a clockwise wipe like Star Wars, this editor chose to insert footage of his holiday at the beach every chance he got. Over and over and over again.

Lastly, since it has been bothering me since yesterday, how the hell were there descendants of Collins if he had been an only child and never had children himself? Cutting off the family tree at that branch would have saved me a two hour headache.

The Avengers - Movie Review

*****/5

It is not often that I see a movie more than once in theaters. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie and Mean Girls are the only ones that come to mind. In addition, I am quite certain that there has only been one movie that I wanted to see again immediately after the credits finished rolling. And that movie is Marvel’s The Avengers.

The Avengers, helmed by my personal god Joss Whedon (of Buffy and Firefly fame), is the culmination of an unprecedented five films (Iron Man 1 and 2, Thor, Captain America and The Incredible Hulk), with at least three more sequels in the works (Iron Man 3, Captain America 2 and Thor 2) and the idea of two more Avengers movies*. With close to a decade of anticipation and an astronomical budget ($220 million, which makes the gross of $207 million from the opening weekend alone even more impressive), there was a huge amount of pressure on this film. As I practically worship Whedon, I had nothing but faith in the movie, but I had to agree with the sentiment that if it bombed, it would take many careers with it. Fortunately, it is just as amazing as everyone hoped.

The basic premise makes it a seamless sequel to all of the aforementioned films – Thor’s brother, Loki, plans to take over Earth using the power of the Tesseract, the secret weapon used by Hydra in Captain America. Nick Fury, played by the ever magnificent Samuel L. Jackson, recognizing the threat Loki poses, assembles a group of the world’s most powerful, bringing Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov into a room together for the first time. Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson reprise their roles here, but new to the group is Mark Ruffalo as the third Hulk in as many movies, and in my opinion, the best. He portrays the character as utterly self-loathing, while still being likable to the audience, which is surprisingly unique.

Thor soon joins them, played by the unbelievably hunky Chris Hemsworth, to battle his brother. Tom Hiddleson, as Loki, is one of the stand-out actors of the film, being both whiny and annoying, and utterly terrifying. The scene where he threatens Natasha/Black Widow is absolutely chilling, and we truly feel that not only is he willing to destroy everyone on the planet, he will enjoy every minute of it. His past is no cause for this derangement (being the adopted son of the All Father has it’s perks), so I must agree with Banner when he says, “That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.”

This leads me to another point – the writing in this movie is just superb. I expect nothing less from Whedon, as he has a beloved skill of writing tense action, razor sharp wit and utter heartbreak, often all in the same scene. The humor in Avengers in no exception, with a few scenes so funny that I could not catch following lines because the audience was laughing so loud. My personal two favorite punch lines have no dialog, forcing us to recall the beginning of the joke. I won’t give either away, but I will advise all readers to stay all the way through the credits, as there are two bonus scenes for this movie.

As with any other review, I must find one thing to nitpick, and with Avengers, there is really only one thing that I can think of. Through most of the movie, Bruce Banner does his utmost to keep the Hulk at bay, and when he is unleashed, all hell breaks loose. This is standard procedure and no real surprise. However, when the final battle comes and in order to fight Banner must ‘Hulk out’, he suddenly has the beast under control, with no real explanation for what caused this sudden change in demeanor. This may be a deleted scene, or perhaps something I missed, but I was left in confusion about how the Hulk became a choice rather than an affliction.

All in all, a great movie, and definitely one I recommend seeing in theaters – at least once.

* Also, there may be a Nick Fury movie. Crazy!

Meeting an Idol

I'd like to start off by saying that I am really, really sick right now, and was last night when this momentous event happened. I can possibly attribute the tears to feeling like I was going to die, but probably not. I'm sure I would have cried anyway.

Regardless, last night I went to the Rosamond Gifford Lecture Series talk in Syracuse. Every year a handful of authors are invited to speak about their books, writing in general, and their lives to an audience of interested readers. Last night the guest speaker was none other than Laurie R. King, mystery writer and personal godess to yours truly. Her books about Mary Russell and her husband, Sherlock Holmes, has long been my favorite series, which I have spoken about before.

Last fall, when the 11th book in the series came out, she had an illustration contest for a microstory to accompany the book. Though I did not win, mine was the first submission sent, and in returen I got an awesome poster. I was determined to get the thing signed, so I carried it around in my car for months so as not to forget it.

Naturally, on Monday morning I woke up feeling like death, and only got sicker throughout the day. By the time my mom was ready to leave, I was actually contemplating not going, a true sign of how sick I was. I have worshiped this woman for at least a decade, I have a tattoo in tribute to her, and I was considering not going to see her talk. That was a low point in my life, I can tell you.

Fortunately, my mom convinced me to get off my butt, take some painkillers and go. I'm so very glad I did.

The woman dresses like Marilla Cuthbert in her promo photos, and doesn't change a bit in real life. She walked out on stage and spoke the first sentence from The Beekeeper's Apprentice and I began to cry.

"I was fifteen when I first met Sherlock Holmes, fifteen years old with my nose in a book as I walked the Sussex Downs, and nearly stepped on him."

Never mind that I was myself fifteen when I first read the book, and madly in love with all things Sherlock Holmes (still am, for that matter), but King has been one of my great writing influences since then as well. Hearing her recite the first words of one of my favorite, and certainly my most read, books of all time was quite moving. As I'm sure you inferred from the whole weeping thing.

Anyway, the rest of her talk was great, made better by the fact that the painkillers kicked in halfway through and I felt human again. She talked about her own practices when writing, the new projects she has in mind and answered questions from the audience, including mine. Once the talk was over my mom and I quickly exited the theater, attempting to find out where she would be signing books, having been informed by her Facebook page that she would be. We were then told by an usher that all of the signings had happened earlier in the day.

This was the second time that evening I was moved to tears, and this time it wasn't in a good way. My mother, bless her, doesn't take no for an answer and, in a move worthy of Holmes himself, figured out where the reception must be located by checking every door we came to.

I think we were technically crashing a party, but I don't care, since it was here that I actually got to meet Ms. King. I almost cried again, but I was able to hold it together enough to gush like a teenager at a Backstreet Boy's concert (or another, more relevant group). She is a lovely person, and seemed to genuinely appreciate the fawning, or at least had the grace to not be visibly appalled. It was quite a moment for me, and I only wish I hadn't been so damn sick, so maybe I could have formulated an intelligent argument for why she should let me write a screenplay of one of her books. Oh well.

At least I got my poster signed.

Chronicle - Movie Review

*****/5

Chronicle was the first movie I have seen in theaters in months, and I was extremely pleased to discover that I had not wasted my money on it. When I first saw the trailer I thought it was going to be a lame X-Men knockoff, and while I did love Push, I do not tend to like repeated versions of the same idea. Chronicle is, essentially, what X-Men would be if it were just based around the kids, with no Professor X or Magneto. There are no "good guys" and "bad guys", merely three teenagers who are suddenly endowed with incredible and unexplained gifts. What makes this movie truly extraordinary is that it is honestly realistic. No, I don't believe in telekinesis, but if a group of 17 year old boys were suddenly able to do so, this is how it would turn out.

Without giving too much of the plot away, the boys, Andrew, Matt and Steve, all acquire these powers and spend some months playing with them, becoming stronger, and learning how powerful and dangerous they can be. Then one of them goes crazy and starts killing people. If this were to happen in real life, that is just about how it would play out. They wouldn't suddenly become super heros and start rescuing orphans and kittens, they would mess with their neighbors until they realized they could do a lot and get away with it. And then they would do it. I thought the acting was really phenomenal, Dane DeHaan (Andrew) in particular. He looks and acts like a young Leonardo DiCaprio and he portrayed an emotionally unstable teenager with enormous talent. I look forward to seeing more of him in the future.

My only major problem with the movie was the cinematography. I am a fan of the handheld camera style and I think it has been done well a number of times. Chronicle was not nauseating like Cloverfield, and the quality was better than The Blair Witch Project. I would have been entirely on board with it if new cameras were not added. We are introduced with Andrew's camera and told that he will be taking it everywhere with him - he is the narrator and we are seeing his movie. Then we begin to receive footage from other camera: another student, security cameras and police cameras. Suddenly, the intimate feel of a handheld camera is lost. What makes that style so special is that it feels real - like an unedited documentary that only you are seeing. When new cameras are added, this point is defeated. You become aware that at least an editor was needed to collect and compile all the footage, and there goes the intimacy. Dave and I had a long conversation about this, and while his point is correct - there was not really a way to show all of this via one camera, when the cameraman goes insane - I wonder why the filmmakers decided to go the handheld route to begin with.

Halloween Storm, 2011

I’m back in the office now, with actual lights and power enough to type this. Let me tell you about the last few days.

On Friday morning, the radio informed me that the area (Eastern PA) would be getting 4-6 inches of snow. By the afternoon, a co-worker was saying 6-8. When I got home, my mother-in-law said 8-10. I was simply hoping that it would get me out of my Saturday morning cat dissection. No such luck.

At 7:30am Saturday, when I left the house, it was cold, windy and pouring rain. By the time I left class at 11am, it looked like this:This is not normal October snow. I’m from Syracuse, and snow on Halloween is more common than not. But that is usually a powdery dusting. This was wet, heavy, icy shit. January snow. And lots of it. At one point, it was coming down at an inch an hour, easily.

I got home safely - barely - and was eating lunch with my fiance and his mother when that stupid Miley Cyrus song about hiking came on the radio. I said, “When I hear this at the office, I turn the radio off”, and the power went out. It hasn’t come back on yet.

Saturday was nice: Dave and I took a nap in our still-warm room, we went out for Chinese food, watched the Usual Suspects and drank Black Russians. We walked by candlelight and it was more an adventure than anything. Throughout the night we could hear loud cracks from outside as branches broke under the strain of such heavy snow.

We awoke Sunday to blazing sun and half a tree across the porch. Also, no heat. We took a shower with what little hot water remained in the tank and enjoyed watching our bodies steam in the rapidly cooling house. We cleared the debris and ran errands all day in the hopes that we would get power back soon. When we heard from a neighbor that Tuesday is the earliest that the grocery store down the road will get power, we checked into a hotel. By now every hotel in the city is booked full, as over 115,000 homes in the area are without power.

As fun as staying in a hotel can be, this sucks. It means I have to get up even earlier for work, Dave is back doing his rotations so I have a room alone, and this morning it was so foggy I could barely see to drive. I’m beginning to think that Harold Camping may have been right.

And yet, we are the lucky ones. We can afford a hotel room, and we had enough foresight to book it while there were still some left. There are still hundreds of thousands, I’ve heard up to 2.1 million in total in the Northeast, without power. If you can find a way to help, please do. This is America, we should be above having our citizens freeze to death, though I’m sure it is already happening.